We delight in the beauty of the butterfly,
but rarely admit the changes it has gone through
to achieve that beauty.
—Maya Angelou
Breaking free of our comfort zones challenges us to expand our range of spiritual understanding and stimulate growth. Perhaps an apt visual metaphor for such an expansion is the dispersal of a shipment of rubber duckies around the world’s waterways. In 1992, a Chinese freighter accidently dropped a crate of thirty thousand rubber duckies into the Pacific Ocean, which were later discovered on the coasts of Indonesia, Australia, South America, Alaska, the Arctic, and England, resulting in scientists gaining a better understanding of ocean currents. Metaphorically, their geographical movement can be seen as a means for breaking free of our comfort zones and trusting the current of life to carry us forward, enabling us to more fully develop our spiritual potential and contribute to a greater good in the future.
We often become fixated on how others perceive and define us, and try to remain within limited parameters for fear of making mistakes, failing, or disappointing them because we desperately want their approval. But such behavior diminishes our sense of self-worth, limits our ability to make discerning choices, and undermines trust in our own experiences or the voice of our spirit to guide us in realizing our true potential. There is nothing enlightened about inhibiting ourselves so that others feel secure or fulfilled while we feel “shrink-wrapped.”
When we are able to do this, we no longer feel we have to “hustle for our worthiness,” as Brené Brown states. “When we can let go of what other people think and own our own story,” she says, “we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness—that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging—lives inside our story.”
Following is an example of breaking free of our comfort zones. Last October I traveled to Santa Fe, New Mexico, and took my first class in NIA, a sensory-based movement practice that incorporates dance, martial arts, and healing arts. Originally, I was going to stay in my comfort zone by going to a yoga class; however, I wanted to experience my vulnerability, and taking the NIA class turned out to be a good motivator. As we began to move, my first thoughts were, “Am I doing this right?” and “Do I look like a fool?” I compared myself to everyone else, immediately felt five years old, and moved to the back of the room where I thought no one could view me before realizing there were floor-to-ceiling mirrors along the wall, enabling others to easily see me.
At this point, the teacher asked us to break out of our usual movements, calling out, “Are you doing anything new? Are you doing the same hippie arms? Are you staying in one place?” Of course, I was doing the same hippie arms in the same place, stuck in my habitual movements and afraid to transcend my comfort zone. Then summoning my courage I opened my heart and said to myself, “Oh, what the heck. Just trust yourself, Deb.” I surrendered to my inner dancer, experiencing a freedom I had never felt before on the dance floor and discovering a way to express myself that better reflected my authentic self.
Like stepping outside the yellow tape outlining the body at a crime scene, we step outside the confines of our comfort zones to express who we truly are. We don’t think our way into becoming our authentic selves but rather love our way there. When we love ourselves enough, we courageously move toward what we fear and allow ourselves to let go of unhealthy patterns; break free of our familiar habits of resistance, avoidance, and control; and embrace change as a mantra for our lives.