Giving ourselves permission to “be” requires us to let go of our preconceived notions, mindsets and beliefs of how we should live and choose to follow our heart. Remember, when we had twenty minutes for recess? The bell would ring, and for those twenty precious minutes, time stood still and the universe of possibility opened up to us. As children, we yielded to this freedom of spirit knowing that nothing else really mattered. However, as adults, many of us feel resigned, overwhelmed, and even tired from the challenging pace of endless to do lists and tasks that require our time and attention. As difficult as it is to take time to be, we must give ourselves permission to do what makes our heart sing and what makes our being come alive.

So much of our lives is spent pleasing or seeking approval from others whether it’s our boss, partner or dear friend. We try to validate our existence from these outside sources instead of giving ourselves permission to follow our inside source. Yet, our brain stores patterns, mindsets and beliefs that dictate what we should do instead of what our heart desires. Our true being is pure light and love so we must give ourselves permission to dance in the light, play in the possibilities and fully express who we are.

The universal principle of permission is essential to channeling light as information to spiritually guide our choices for well-being, abundance and fulfillment. This powerful tool sets our spirit free from the negative thought processes that bind us to our present circumstances. It clears the way for us to make the discerning choices that are closer to our soul’s journey. This covenant we make to expressing our being more than our past programming is our divine connection to light.

Here are a few ways to practice giving yourself permission:

I give myself permission to:__________________.
Express my true voice; play with joyful abandon; change jobs or begin a new career, leave a toxic relationship; open to a healthy new relationship; travel or move to a new place; and follow my heart.

Give yourself permission to just be.

Engaging in open, honest, and compassionate communication promotes a deepening of trust and intimacy with ourselves and in our relationships.  Amidst the stress and complexities of life, even the closest of partners, friends or colleagues at times feel misunderstood, disconnected, or not heard. All the more reason, to practice speaking our truth from our hearts.

 1) Be aware of how you and your partner verbal and nonverbal language alert you to any negative patterns. Phrases such as “You always,” “You never,” “You make me feel,” or “You are like your mother” can undermine an open and honest discussion with each other. It’s far more effective to use I-statements, such as “I observed,” “I sensed,” or “I felt,” to alert your partner to a pattern that has surfaced. Using I-statements will help your partner flag patterns in a compassionate way, asking themselves: “Do I make assumptions, presumptions, and generalizations without checking in with my partner?” and “Does my tone of voice or choice of words sound critical, harsh, or self-righteousness?” If you feel your partner is using a critical or self-righteous tone or making a mean-spirited comment, call attention to it and ask them to stop immediately, even if your partner does not share your experience.

2) Trust your own experience and share what you are observing or feeling with your partner so that you can immediately clear whatever patterns or grievances have surfaced. When you or your partner sense a change in mood or behavior, pause and check in with each other. Be aware of any couple triggers,  verbal or nonverbal, that touch on a sensitive issue, inciting conflict between the two of you-and choose a code word that alerts you to the fact that such a topic has surfaced. Then use this code word to table a discussion or stop an activity until you can be receptive to each other’s point of view. Use of the code word can help you avoid repeating previous circular debates and inspire new conversation.

3) Use humor as a way of letting your friend, colleague or partner know that you have noticed a pattern has surfaced.  Recalling a funny moment on breaks the tension, calls attention to the pattern, and encourages you to take yourself less seriously. When you can laugh at your own imperfections, you know you are releasing them, which boosts the flow of positive energy in the relationship.

      Finally, realize that when there has been, or you anticipate, a major change, it is likely to cause a pattern to surface-an event for which you can be prepared. For instance, any information signaling that you are going through a transition or about to realize a dream may trigger a pattern. This is because of the increased vulnerability that is present when we are fulfilling our divine potential. In such situations, acknowledge that you feel a shift and positively channel your energies through your heart to manifest your intention.