Debra L. Reble, PH.D. | Soul-Hearted Living 2017-08-17T21:11:32Z http://www.debrareble.com/feed/atom/ WordPress Debra Reble <![CDATA[Practicing the 5 Steps of Compassionate Detachment]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3044 2017-08-17T21:11:32Z 2017-08-17T21:11:32Z When we set healthy energetic boundaries and hold others accountable for their choices, we become more loving, compassionate people. Being compassionate toward others doesn’t require us to engage in any unhealthy physical or emotional experiences a person may be having. We can communicate that we love a person while still refusing to play a part in their drama. To protect your sensitive being and hold the space of love, you can practice these five steps of compassionate detachment.

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Compassion, DetatchmentBeing compassionate toward others doesn’t require us to engage in any unhealthy physical or emotional experiences a person may be having. In fact, compassion requires that we remove ourselves from their physical process, and instead support from a place where we feel stable and empowered. We can communicate that we love a person while still refusing to play a part in their drama. For instance, when someone wants to vent about a particular issue, we can listen with an open heart but still refrain from taking on their negativity, giving unsolicited advice, or trying to fix the situation. This allows us to provide loving support yet remain calm, nonreactive, and nonjudgmental. 

To be empathic toward others, even those who are mean, deceitful, or hurtful, requires that we open our hearts and feel compassion for ourselves, dissolving the walls we have erected around our hearts for self-protection. Vulnerability lays the groundwork for empathy. Science has demonstrated that humanity is united by empathy, a phenomenon that has been observed in children as young as one year of age. Research shows that, when we feel compassion, the most sophisticated thought centers in our brains light up, indicating that we are hardwired to be compassionate toward others. Compassion brings our brain into harmony with the vibration of love from our heart center.  Therefore, the more compassionate we are with ourselves, the more our capacity for empathy increases so we can respond to the emotional needs of others. 

Empathy is compassion in action. When someone is stuck in a dark hole, empathy is empowering them by offering a hand, and supporting them while they find a way to get themselves out. By contrast, sympathy is jumping into the dark hole with them and commiserating about how bad it is in the hole.  

To protect your sensitive being and hold the space of love, you can practice these five steps of compassionate detachment:  

Retreat: If you’ve ever attended a gathering or shared an office with an energy bully, you may have felt your eyes get heavy, sleepy, or dry, noticed your mood shifting from positive to negative, or suddenly become irritated or agitated. It’s important when you feel these symptoms that you pause, check in with yourself, and give yourself permission to remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible. You can get some fresh air, tell the person you will call them back, or drift over to mingle with people who give off positive energy. You can radiate love from a distance without losing yourself. Notice how this practice beneficially affects your physical and emotional well-being. 

Re-evaluate: When encountering negativity, ask yourself, “How can this interaction with this person help me spiritually grow?” or “What is this person or situation showing me about myself?” Every exchange in life―good, bad, or neutral―is an opportunity to become free of your fear-based patterns and self-sabotaging behaviors, and open your heart in love.   

RestoreAfter any negative encounter or situation, it’s crucial that you detox the lower vibrational energies you have absorbed. Taking deep cleansing breaths, showering, and spending time in nature are simple ways to clear your energy system. All of these will ground you and bring you back into energetic balance and resonance.  

RaiseRaise your energy vibration by opening your heart and surrounding the person or situation in love. Love brings you into non-resonance with lower vibrations, and you can radiate love from a distance without compromising your own energies. As a conduit of love, you can strive to see “negative nellies” as catalysts to elevate your energy and engage your highest self. 

Re-enter: When you re-enter the negative environment, do so slowly, with loving intent, and conscious awareness as to which of your buttons are likely to be pushed again. Make sure you are fully centered. Use the “broken record technique,” which is repeating a neutral statement to reduce any emotional volatility. Keep your interactions short and sweet, end conversations swiftly and with compassion, and lessen the time and duration you spend in toxic situations.  

It is possible to be compassionate and accepting of another person while still holding that person accountable for their behavior. One of the barriers to practicing compassionate detachment is the fear of setting boundaries and holding people accountable. Not holding them accountable for their unhealthy choices, however, actually impedes their capability to help themselves and spiritually grow.  

In reality, when we set healthy energetic boundaries and hold others accountable for their choices, we become more loving, compassionate people.  When we take full responsibility for every choice in our lives, we cannot be a victim, only a creator. Above all, when we set compassionate boundaries, we love and value ourselves by showing others how we wish to be treated. Then we can be responsive even in the most challenging circumstances, and attract everyone and everything we need to manifest a more loving reality. 

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Let Go of Fear and Trust]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3041 2017-08-12T17:51:06Z 2017-08-12T17:51:06Z Letting go is one of the most important, yet most difficult spiritual principles that we need to incorporate into our lives. Too often we brace ourselves for change instead of letting go and embracing change as an opportunity for our personal transformation. When we resist change, we actually generate more energy around our deepest insecurities, drawing toward us what we fear most.

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Trust, FearLetting go is one of the most important, yet most difficult spiritual principles that we need to incorporate into our lives. Too often we brace ourselves for change instead of letting go and embracing change as an opportunity for our personal transformation. When we resist change, we actually generate more energy around our deepest insecurities, drawing toward us what we fear most. 

Letting go takes an open heart, expanded awareness, a grand sense of humor and a conscious practice to move through fear. It also requires surrounding ourselves with loving people and environments that support us releasing what is necessary in a healthy and positive way. Most of all, it requires trust in ourselves and our connection to source for it to become an essential element in our lives such as the air we breathe. 

We have to let go of fear into trust. Letting go and trust go hand in hand as one supports the other. It’s easy to move on when we have the road map right in front of us; yet, many of us struggle to let go of a relationship, a job or our life as we’ve known it when we have to trust ourselves. Absolute trust in ourselves is our safety net, however, this safety net isn’t a white fluffy pillow that we can fall back on in familiar comfort. Rather it is a deep sense of connection to a higher power whatever source that happens to be for us and then accessing this flow of energy through our heart. 

Let go of your negative thoughts, fears and expectations moment to moment which will bring you into a state of expanded awareness. It takes more than deep breaths to let go; it requires a strength of trust and courage of the heart. Ultimately, you must trust that letting go is about the completion of life cycles and thus, signals a beginning more than an end. Remind yourself that you have a choice in every moment to let go into trust. 

 

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Cultivate Lightheartedness for More Joy and Inner Peace]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3037 2017-07-27T22:24:37Z 2017-07-27T22:24:37Z In cultivating lightheartedness, we ensure our capacity to create and sustain joy, find peace in times of turmoil, and respond rather than react to life's challenges. As adults, it is important to take time to simply play, have fun, and celebrate being. When we exhibit the qualities of lightheartedness—such as playfulness, humor, flexibility, and spontaneity—our lives seem brighter, and we increase our desire and ability to uplift the lives of others.

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Peace, JoyLove is not something that just happens to you: it is a certain special way of being alive.”  ~ Thomas Merton

In cultivating lightheartedness, we ensure our capacity to create and sustain joy, find peace in times of turmoil, and respond rather than react to life’s challenges. When we exhibit the qualities of lightheartedness—such as playfulness, humor, flexibility, and spontaneity—our lives seem brighter, and we increase our desire and ability to uplift the lives of others. This occurs because these ebullient qualities are expressions of a soul-hearted life.

Children are our best teachers for cultivating love and lightheartedness because they infuse their daily lives with it. When we observe children at play, openhearted and present, we see them as conduits of love, delighting in the beauty of life. We, too, knew lightheartedness as children, especially when we splashed in puddles after a warm rain, chased fireflies on warm summer evenings, or built forts or fairy altars in our backyards. We paid attention to the ordinary which made life extraordinary. We immersed ourselves in experiences that made our hearts sing.

Unfortunately, as adults we are more inhibited about expressing ourselves freely, sensing that society frowns upon adults being spontaneous and playful. We fear that if we follow our hearts and express our free-spirited natures we will be seen as irresponsible or immature. It is hard to move past limiting beliefs such as “There’s too much work to do, and no time for play,” “Playing is a waste of time and unproductive,” or “Play is only for children.” Such negative beliefs squelch our spirits and suck the life-force energy out of us. As a result, many of us have lost our sense of life as a mysterious adventure to be embraced and enjoyed.

Playfulness is essential to cultivating lightheartedness. Being playful naturally liberates the mind, opens the heart, and lifts the spirit. In this state of pure being, we feel free to channel our energies to expand beyond any limitation.

As adults, it is important to take time to simply play, have fun, and celebrate being. We can do this with ourselves, our partner, family, or friends. Engaging in playtime is challenging in a culture that values doing over being and productivity over creativity. In our society, it’s easy to believe that we are connecting with our partner while doing the laundry, or bonding with our children while driving them to soccer practice. Yet our obsessive focus on doing rather than being short circuits valuable energy and keeps us running in circles on the track of life. Only by becoming more present can we restore the balance of energies needed to sustain our relationships, deepen intimacy, and live in the flow of love. While engrossed in creative play, we feel connected, distractions disappear, and we live in the moment. Stringing together such moments of present-oriented experiences brings joy and inspiration.  

Lightheartedness is also crucial in healing. Research shows that laughter lowers blood pressure, increases vascular blood flow, and reduces stress, which, in turn, reduces anxiety and depression. In fact, Norman Cousins, adjunct professor and researcher at UCLA, documented in Anatomy of an Illness, the healing power of laughter. Told that he had little chance of surviving a fatal disease, Cousins developed a healing program that focused on a positive perspective, love, faith, hope, and laughter. He discovered that even ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had a healing effect on his body. Most importantly, when we laugh with others, we share a sense of connectedness that likewise assists in healing as well.

Laughter that assists us in communing with others in a soul-hearted way is what I call soul laughter. Soul laughter lets us share our vulnerabilities with others and communicates our loving presence without spoken words. Such soul giggles strengthen our connection to others.

Cultivating lightheartedness through laughter and play also assists us in obtaining a more buoyant perspective on our lives, and teaches us to assess situations with healthy detachment. Nearly every experience we have, no matter how trivial—an impatient driver who cuts us off in traffic, an irritable salesperson at the checkout, or a downpour that drenches us to the bone—can be viewed as humorous, as well as an opportunity to discover more about ourselves.

Cultivating lightheartedness requires flexibility. It takes letting go of our ego, expectations, or reservations, and embracing the sense that nothing is more important than the present moment. It encourages responding rather than reacting, and inspires an instantaneous recognition of the silliness of many situations.

We can discover our capacity for playfulness and connect with our childlike nature by letting go of any thoughts that interfere with our ability to be flexible and fully enjoy life’s wonders. We can dance spontaneously when we hear music at the grocery store, giggle when we get drenched in the rain, or sing aloud while listening to our music. Instead of tackling household tasks in earnest, we can boogie while washing the car, sing our favorite songs while doing the dishes, and experiment with a recipe while cooking. We can take pleasure in the simple things in life that make our hearts sing, and invite others to join in as we go barefoot in the grass or float in a pool of water. We can also seek out new activities that make us laugh and play with joyful abandon while broadening our perspective on wonder. Our lives will evolve miraculously when we are able to cultivate lightheartedness sufficiently to embrace the philosophy of “let’s see what happens.”

Cultivating lightheartedness involves a willingness to participate in life fully and fearlessly while realizing our soul potential, looking for and expecting nothing while inviting in everything. Through cultivating a lightness of heart, we heal, connect, and love.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Anxiety Can Be Your Friend]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3034 2017-07-27T22:04:33Z 2017-07-27T22:04:32Z Until we allow ourselves time alone to lean into our anxiety and release our pain, we may not even realize that our bodies, especially our autonomic nervous systems, hold on to pain. Leaning in to our anxiety loosens the vice grip our brains have on our thoughts. In order to heal, we have to expose those negative thoughts, worries, and wounds to the light, and reveal all the ways we’ve been striving to protect them and keep them hidden from sight.

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AnxietyUntil we allow ourselves time alone to lean into our anxiety and release our pain, we may not even realize that our bodies, especially our autonomic nervous systems, hold on to pain. For example, we may have parts of our body that are numb, shallow breathing, or a nervous system in a constant state of anxiety. Leaning in to our anxiety loosens the vice grip our brains have on our thoughts. In order to heal, we have to expose those negative thoughts, worries, and wounds to the light, and reveal all the ways we’ve been striving to protect them and keep them hidden from sight. 

Our physical and emotional reactions are flags which alert us to underlying patterns and unresolved pain. This sort of information usually surfaces in situations that engage the brain in survival mode—but sometimes a simple word, a glance, or another seemingly benign interaction with another person can cause them to erupt in a defensive reaction. Such patterns need not have originated with us, but can be triggered by behavioral patterns evident in another person or situation. Nonetheless, no matter where a pattern originates, the stronger the reaction is, the more deeply seated the vulnerability which underlies it.

Consciously observing your physical and emotional reactions from an expanded spiritual perspective can help you see the origin of your emotional pain. Giving yourself permission to push the pause button and interrupt your own automatic reactions helps you compassionately detach from the person or situation, and gauge what is going on within you. You can then lean into your anxiety, notice where your body is holding tension and creating energy blocks, and ask yourself such questions as: What is this physical or emotional reaction telling me about myself? What is the origin of the anxiety being triggered? What spiritual information am I being guided to see?

Opening your heart not only calms an anxiety-ridden brain, but can also flood the body with a healing vibration that releases internal energy blocks. Like an electrical circuit breaker that has been tripped, your natural healing ability may have shut down due to stress, fatigue, challenging life circumstances, or negative emotions. This shutdown leads to discordance in the heart’s rhythms and stress in the nervous system. When you open your heart and focus on love as a healing vibration, you can alleviate many of these detrimental effects.

 It’s important to remain aware of your reactions so you can immediately bring your nervous system back into balance by breathing and focusing on your heart center. Once you’ve calmed your emotional reaction, you can clear negative thoughts by substituting encouraging phrases such as: Bless and release, Open and let go, and “Let it all be—all the while engaging in supportive self-talk. Finally, pause frequently as you move through the challenging situation so that you remain aware of yourself, your environment, and any additional reactions that may arise. In this way, you can not only soothe your anxiety, but refrain from doing harm to others through your reactions. In fact, using these practices, you can leave whatever space you’re in charged with more positive energy than it contained when you arrived.

I know that this may be easier said than done. The first reaction of most people feeling anxiety is to avoid it. In fact, the brain automatically moves into self-protection mode when it senses pain, since at the heart of our reaction to pain is, ultimately, the fear of death. It takes courage to confront such anxiety with compassion, and self-discipline to hold back the self-loathing we may unleash at the slightest twinge of pain. We must come closer and lean in to what we fear and gently surrender our defenses. Then we can allow our old friend, anxiety, to surface and release.

Sometimes a crisis such as a serious illness, trauma, or loss forces us to lean into our anxieties and open to intense transformation. In some ways, change—even the hard change of healing old wounds—is easier when the alternative is unthinkable. But for many of us, daily life isn’t enough to trigger that kind of radical transformation. Instead, the pain is left to build up for years, even decades, because it’s easier to ignore it than to let go and embrace it. Without such release, however, these old wounds can create chronic distress that can manifest as depression, anxiety, or physical illness. Only when our emotional pain is released can we bring about self-healing.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[The Power of Having a Soul Team Around You]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3030 2017-07-20T12:27:38Z 2017-07-20T12:27:38Z To support our own transformation, we must invite into our lives an energetic support team-people who love us unconditionally, without judging, enabling, or interfering with our choices. Such an energetic support team, or Soul Team, consists of kindred spirits who encourage the full expression of our true being rather than our ego-driven identity or the roles we play to survive in the world. As such, they motivate us to let go, follow our hearts and co-create a more fulfilling future.

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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

To support our own transformation, we must invite into our lives an energetic support team-people who love us unconditionally, without judging, enabling, or interfering with our choices. Such an energetic support team, or Soul Team, consists of kindred spirits who encourage the full expression of our true being rather than our ego-driven identity or the roles we play to survive in the world. As such, they motivate us to let go, follow our hearts and co-create a more fulfilling future.

When building our Soul Team, we sometimes realize that people with whom we have had the longest or closest relationships, including some family members or friends, may not qualify as team members. For example, our spiritual growth triggers resistance or defensiveness within them because they are invested in having us stay exactly where we are. Our changes especially challenge those who are afraid to see they are not living up to their fullest potential. Although our own clarity can catalyze everyone in relationship with us to confront their own patterns, some may disconnect from us, project their feelings of fear or pain onto us, or blame us for the unraveling of their lives. People with whom we in turn are inclined to suppress our needs or dismiss our desires are not candidates for our energetic support team.

I have found that a Soul Team is often revealed when we are moving through a transition or dealing with a difficult situation-times when others tend to show their true character. This requires careful consideration of people we know to decide which ones will unconditionally endorse our choices for a more fulfilling future. First, observe your relationships to identify individuals who can serve the most supportive functions. Many support systems are set up to perpetuate the patterns of struggle, failure, victimization, or even illness. Instead, select healthy support systems comprised, for example, by such people as psychotherapists, spiritual guides, or soul-hearted friends who encourage your transformation. Second, be sure your intentions are positive so that the people you gather around you will assist in sustaining your well-being. Then work on maintaining your Soul Team by periodically adding or eliminating members in keeping with your spiritual progression.

To manifest our intentions, we have to let go of our expectations of being supported in any way that is conditional, even by family and friends.  As we continually evaluate our relationships to refine this Soul Team, we have to surround ourselves with others who guide unconditionally and assist us in manifesting our hearts’ desires.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Loss: The Heartbreak and the Sacred Insights]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3025 2017-07-14T20:59:56Z 2017-07-14T20:59:56Z Despite the pain it elicits, loss teaches us about the delicate balance, intensity, and richness of life. We cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joys associated with what has been lost.

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Loss, SacredDespite the pain it elicits, loss teaches us about the delicate balance, intensity, and richness of life. We cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joys associated with what has been lost. In the movie Shadowlands, poet Joy Gresham, in speaking about her impending death to author C. S. Lewis, expresses, “The greater the love, the deeper the sorrow and the longer it will take to work through it. That’s the deal.” The heartbreak that wounds us most deeply eventually leads us to greater enlightenment, blessing our lives with a more spiritual depth of life.

A few years back I was grieving a friend’s untimely death. I felt both a great love and a deep sorrow in my heart. However, that was the “deal” when I consciously entered into a pure loving partnership with her here on earth. Through our soul connection, I am reminded that our relationship transcends the physical level and energetically resides in the sacred space of soul and in me to transform my pain and loss into creation. I can best love, honor and respect our connection by transforming my grief into creation. Moreover, I can channel the energy unleashed by her death putting her powerful light to positive use. One way is to let that energy as love pour out to those I love, whose friendships I cherish and to the betterment of humanity.

Acknowledging the positive side to loss doesn’t numb its pain for it is the pain itself that opens you to deeper love, trust and spiritual healing. The pain lets you know to take precious care of yourself, to sit with your feelings and release them fully before you just move on. Time may ease the pain of loss, but it is being fully present with your heartache, rather than avoiding it, that is what self-healing is about and our path to transformation. Be gentle, kind and open yourself to transforming your emotional release into a positive, creative force for a higher good. You will see that when you emerge on the other side of your pain, you are stronger and lighter for all you have experienced.

Transforming our losses into creation allows us to let go of the past, better appreciate the present, and harness light energy to ride the crest of the tsunami in our consciousness toward a more positive future. It opens us to embrace our natural life cycles, accepting life as a series of births, deaths, and transitions that lead to personal transformation. It asks the question: “How will we live?” Embracing our losses permits us to face and experience the other side of grief, which is unconditional love and trust of ourselves. The surge of light force energy emanating from this pure love and trust empowers us to let go and transcend emotional pain and create a monumental shift in our lives.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[From Falling in Love to Flowing in Love]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3021 2017-07-10T00:21:27Z 2017-07-10T00:21:27Z When we fall in love, we get a glimpse of our lover’s soul. When we flow in love, all impediments fall away, and their soul is all we see. To fall in love is magical; to flow in love is mystical. What transforms an otherwise good relationship into a flowing-in-love, soul-hearted partnership is the willingness of both partners to love beyond any conditions, fully express themselves, spiritually grow, and share their energy to co-create a more fulfilling future for themselves and the world.

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LoveWhen we fall in love, we get a glimpse of our lover’s soul. When we flow in love, all impediments fall away, and their soul is all we see. To fall in love is magical; to flow in love is mystical. When we flow in love with a partner, we engage in the ultimate dance of soul-hearted partnership, sharing our joy, passion, and exuberance for life. The unceasing flow of love that we exude affects how we wake up in the morning, carry ourselves, handle disappointment, give and receive love, and sustain our soul connection.

Flowing in love with a partner takes a harmonious balance of giving and receiving love without expectations or conditions. Through the mutual exchange of genuine love, we become the energetic conduits for directing this flow of love to co-create our reality. When directed with intention, this powerful energy source becomes the catalyst for creating soul-hearted partnerships in our lives.

To experience such soul-hearted partnerships, we must evolve from falling in love to flowing in love. This is because the experience of “falling in love,” or infatuation, is temporary, whereas flowing in love is a constant state of grace. There is a widespread misconception that “falling in love” is love; yet it is only one of the many facets of love.

My model of flowing in love is a soul-hearted relationship, in which two or more individuals ―whether as a couple, a family, friends, or an entire community―are connected heart to heart and soul to soul, and share an alchemy of love energy. With each person operating at their utmost soul potential, contributing to the power of this stream, it flows unimpeded. The soul-hearted partners assist each other in growing spiritually and living in congruence with their souls’ journeys. In such a relationship, each individual is celebrated for who they truly are—a radiant soul on a dynamic spiritual journey. Not only do they have the freedom to pursue their passions, follow their hearts, and express their vulnerable selves, they also have the inspiration and support to do so, due to the increased energy available to them. With such energetic support, obstacles crumble, fears dissipate, and self-expression surges forth beyond anything they had ever imagined. Like popcorn, the kernels of their divine potential are able to burst forth through the nurturing of each other’s being.

Cultivating such soul-hearted relationships takes effort and a spiritual commitment by both partners. As a whole, relationships provide us with numerous opportunities for self-realization by inspiring us to expand our conscious awareness, address our vulnerabilities, and spiritually progress beyond what we can achieve alone. When both partners are actively pursuing their own spiritual growth, they offer each other a commitment to be the best they can be. By recognizing and releasing the individual patterns and energy blocks that threaten to disrupt the positive flow of our energy, we become more self-realized and increasingly responsive to ourselves, our partner, and our relationship. The mantra for this kind of relationship is: “I am whole and complete in myself, and I offer that to you.” Or as John Legend sings in “All of Me,” “Give your all to me, and I’ll give my all to you.”

Such soul-hearted partners are comets weaving their energies in an alignment of purpose, passion, and intimacy. Many of us have experienced being in soul alignment with a best friend or partner. In the midst of talking, dancing, or making love, we may have become transported into a creative flow that emanated from the coupling of our energy. Stringing together moment upon moment of such present-oriented experiences can inspire joy, creativity, and transformation.

These relationships present us with the opportunity to flow gracefully through life’s challenges every day instead of feeling anxious, unprepared, or flooded by a sense of futility. In such relationships, we can lean on our partner to find emotional balance in the midst of distress, let go of our expectations, and “go with the flow.” We can trust that they are there for us, fully present, and committed to magnifying their energies in creative support of the relationship.

What transforms an otherwise good relationship into a flowing-in-love, soul-hearted partnership is the willingness of both partners to love beyond any conditions, fully express themselves, spiritually grow, and share their energy to co-create a more fulfilling future for themselves and the world. As the twin flames of full self-expression merge in such a relationship, the partners collectively become a conduit for channeling this love energy into the world and, aware of their ability, to not only co-create their hearts’ desires but also transcend any problems they may encounter along the way.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Are You Taking Responsibility for Co-Creating Your Life?]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3015 2017-06-15T00:07:33Z 2017-06-14T16:12:00Z In co-creating our reality, we have to accept responsibility for our thoughts, words, and choices in life. That is, we have to be “response-able”― able to respond to events, situations, and people in our lives, instead of reacting to them. It also means becoming consciously aware of our fears, beliefs, and patterns that block the manifestation of our intentions. And to co-create the life we truly want, we must compassionately let go of all that is not in alignment with our soul’s journey.

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Responsibility, co-createIn co-creating our reality, we have to accept responsibility for our thoughts, words, and choices in life. That is, we have to be “response-able”― able to respond to events, situations, and people in our lives, instead of reacting to them. It also means becoming consciously aware of our fears, beliefs, and patterns that block the manifestation of our intentions. And to co-create the life we truly want, we must compassionately let go of all that is not in alignment with our soul’s journey.

Unfortunately, many of us try to shift the burden of responsibility for our spiritual awakening onto others and don’t acknowledge the innate power we have to co-create it for ourselves. From the time we are born, we acquire, model, and develop attitudes, mind-sets, and behaviors that have nothing to do with the divine energy of love that we are.

I define love as an infinite, dynamic, all-encompassing energy source that is our divine essence. Defining love as an energy source rather than a feeling gives us a spiritual perspective on love and helps us understand that we have a responsibility for being such a source in our own lives. Our brains have no comprehension of love, but our hearts know love as an energy source we can express through inspired actions. This puts the responsibility for co-creating a loving world on us. In his book The Road Less Traveled M. Scott Peck supports this premise, stating, “Love is as love does.” So being love is being responsible for our lives.

Responding rather than reacting to life requires making more discerning choices, practicing compassionate detachment, not taking things personally, and listening to the our heart more than our head. For example, suppose you are ready to leave the house for a scheduled appointment and someone who is going with you is dawdling and not ready to go. You could react by nagging or becoming upset and feeling at the mercy of the other person’s choices. Or you could be response-able, communicating your need to be on time, maintaining your sense of humor, and then making a choice with your best interest at heart, trusting that your choice will work well. In the end you may opt to take separate cars, leave for the appointment alone, and meet the other person there without anger or blame; you are fully aware there is no right or wrong, no duty or obligation, only personal responsibility.

Although we are solely accountable for our reactions, the more we set healthy energetic boundaries, the less vulnerable we will be to the negativity of others, and the more proactive our responses will be. When we set healthy energetic boundaries and hold others accountable for their choices, we become more loving, compassionate people. And, when we take full responsibility for every choice in our own lives, we cannot be a victim, only a creator. Above all, when we set compassionate boundaries, we love and value ourselves by showing others how we wish to be treated. Then we can be response-able even in the most challenging circumstances, and attract everyone and everything we need to manifest a more fulfilling reality.

In accepting responsibility for our choices in all situations, we also circumvent the interactions that get us into self-destructive conflicts. For example, many of us have had the experience of being pulled over by a police officer for a traffic violation. We hear the siren, look in the rearview mirror, and have a sinking feeling inside. At this point, we can be response-able by opening our hearts, confidently pulling over, then, when the officer approaches the car, immediately being accountable for our actions. If we are presented with a ticket, we can graciously accept it and thank the officer for encouraging us to slow down, affirming that we energetically set up the intervention as an incentive to take better care of ourselves. Finally, we can view the situation as an opportunity to pay closer attention to our well-being. 

Recognizing that we are accountable for our lives through our choices can result in a tremendous shift in our consciousness over time. When we realize how every choice we make today defines our future and affects the future of our world, and remember that every choice we make either adds to or detracts from the overall quality of our lives and the world in which we live, we must, by necessity, make more impeccable choices in all areas of our lives.

The willingness to take responsibility for your choices allows you to take charge and be flexible in any situation, from getting a traffic ticket to experiencing a flight delay, or any other sudden change in plans. Then, instead of expecting the worst, you can respond with trust that everything is working out for the best and openness to whatever spiritual information the situation might offer.

Our spiritual development is evolving to the point where we are taking more responsibility for our choices. We are finally recognizing that we have the ability to consciously co-create our reality instead of relinquishing that power to others, our circumstances, or shirk our responsibility to make discerning choices.

If we are going to transform our world to one of peace and harmony, we must recognize that we are our own power source and accountable for our own lives. Our true power originates from within, and initiates our reality. As co-creators, we can wield this power to make soul-hearted rather than self-centered choices, and stop relinquishing our power to others or our external circumstances. When we trust our divine connection to source, and are aware of love flowing through us, we are able to channel it to support the fullest expression of ourselves, others, and our planet.

A world of love begins with us. If each of us takes responsibility for the energy we project by becoming more conscious of our intentions, thoughts, feelings, and choices, it will be possible to increase the flow of love and ultimately transform our world.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[Transitions Are Periods of Discovery, Healing, and Transformation]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3009 2017-06-10T13:46:53Z 2017-06-10T13:46:53Z Although these transitions may make us feel that we are losing our bearings, they are actually signs that we are processing new and stored information simultaneously and expanding our conscious awareness. They can also be seen as times of gathering strength physically, mentally, and spiritually in preparation for the next step forward in life—just as it is necessary to spring up at the end of a diving board to gather momentum for a full twist into the pool.

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Transformation, Transition“Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth that around every circle another can be drawn; that there is no end in nature, but every end is a beginning, and under every deep a lower deep opens.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Transitions are intense periods of discovery, self-healing, and personal transformation and open space for new possibilities and spiritual growth. From a spiritual point of view, a person’s life is a constant series of transitions: changing jobs or careers, suffering from and healing an illness, beginning or ending relationships, having a baby or facing a death in the family, and initiating or completing creative projects.

Although these transitions may make us feel that we are losing our bearings, they are actually signs that we are processing new and stored information simultaneously and expanding our conscious awareness. They can also be seen as times of gathering strength physically, mentally, and spiritually in preparation for the next step forward in life—just as it is necessary to spring up at the end of a diving board to gather momentum for a full twist into the pool.

A few years ago, I was reminded that during a transition our spirit brings in new information to prepare us for the future. For example, my husband, Doug, had presented me with a stunning, blue-violet tanzanite ring for my forty-seventh birthday while we were on vacation in Panama. Because we were traveling out of the country and needed to keep the ring safe, we affectionately started calling it “Precious.”

Six months later, I stopped by the jewelry store and had the ring cleaned while I waited. As soon as they were finished, I immediately placed the ring back on my finger, put on my leather glove, and left the store. When I arrived home, I took off my glove to admire the sparkling ring and noticed a small hairline crack inside the stone. As the day went on, the crack grew larger until it looked like the stone had shattered inside. Doug and I called the jeweler and our insurance company to ask about our options for replacing the stone.

Trusting that what was happening was not to upset but to inform me, with conscious awareness I observed the replacement process and contemplated the meaning of the incident for my life. First, the jeweler offered to replace the stone without any further charge to us. Then our insurance company sent a check to the jeweler to cover the cost of a new stone. Witnessing everything, I became convinced that the stone had imploded from the inside out as a spiritual sign of a powerful transition to come. My intuition was affirmed two weeks later when I had a suspicious mammogram that began a year-long process of self-healing and personal transformation.

The metamorphosis of the piece of jewelry ultimately foreshadowed another important transition in my life. First, I was led to replace the old stone with something new to symbolize letting go of the past and opening to the future. When the jeweler brought out a deep blue sapphire stone for me to examine, I chose it as a symbolic declaration for my future. Six months later, unbeknownst to me, my husband bought the damaged tanzanite stone from the jeweler, had it sent to a gem cutter in California, and on my forty-eighth birthday presented me with a beautiful tanzanite necklace. It was “Precious” transformed into two stones, a heart and a triangle joined together on top. Little did I know at the time that these two shapes would become the symbols for soul-hearted partnership, a concept I would channel for my book within the next year.

            The following are ways to remain positive and centered while moving through intense transitions.

  • Regard such shifts as natural life occurrences, seeing parallels in the natural world. Viewing transitions as natural allows us to act in ways that direct more of your creative energies into new possibilities for your future.
  • Walk consciously through your environment and notice where possible energy blocks exist. Observe everything and assess whether or not it serves you well and is appropriate for you in your current life circumstances. Clear your house of anyone or anything that does not align with your well-being and future intentions.
  • Ground yourself during such stressful periods when everything is in flux, you can breathe deeply; touch the center of the chest and open the heart; take a walk or work in the garden, using the elements of nature to calm you; or bathe to cleanse your energy field.

Moving through life from one transition to another without resistance, avoidance, or energy blocks allows us to open to these new possibilities and develop spiritually.

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Debra Reble <![CDATA[4 Sacred Strategies to Become a Conscious Observer of Your Experience]]> http://www.debrareble.com/?p=3002 2017-05-26T16:15:12Z 2017-05-26T16:15:12Z Becoming conscious observers of your experience—your thoughts, feelings , patterns, and life circumstances—allows you to witness your life from a healthy detached perspective and assess any situation.

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Sacred StrategiesBecoming conscious observers of your experience—your thoughts, feelings , patterns, and life circumstances—allows you to witness your life from a healthy detached perspective and assess any situation. This is expanded conscious awareness and it becomes activated when you trust your connection to your divine source. Like operating the zoom lens of a camera, you can pull yourself away from any experience to access it from a more spiritual point of view.

Consciously observing your experience from an expanded viewpoint helps you gain perspective on and disengage from negative reactions such as blame, attacking, or resisting others when you feel fearful, insecure, or angry. In fact, the brain, like a camera, has filtered lenses through which you perceive your external circumstances. These filters, which come from past experience, can alter how you see and interpret new information. Such filters may distort your perception of a situation and cause you to react negatively.

In many cases, you may discover that you are not angry at the person but rather at the information you are receiving about yourself—the particular mindset, belief, or pattern triggered by the encounter. In other words, though at first it may feel like we want to kill the messenger what we really want to kill is the message. Simon Peter Fuller writes, “What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.”

In such situations, there are 4 sacred strategies you can do to uncover the unresolved issue needing to be healed.

  • Ask yourself: What physical, mental, or emotional reactions am I experiencing right now? What is this person or situation showing me about my own mindsets, beliefs, or behavioral patterns? What do I need to release?
  • You can pause or take purposeful breaks during the day to assess and release any reactions. Pay attention to any discomfort or tension in the body, listen to the information being received, and identify, any negative patterns. You can walk out of the room, set the phone down, or write a response in a letter or e-mail to send later.
  • Observe any reaction from a broader, more detached perspective, paying attention to any cues signaling that negative mindsets, beliefs, or patterns. Tune in to your reactions and see each one as an opportunity to heal an unresolved issue.
  • Separate your reaction from someone else’s so you get the healthy distance needed to avoid taking theirs personally or blaming them for yours, while staying lovingly connected and responsive. It helps to envision the person going through their own self-discovery that likely has nothing to do with us. This form of compassionate detachment increases your ability to influence difficult situations with positive energy.

In choosing to respond, rather than react by not taking another person’s issue to heart, you give them the loving space to examine the source of their own reaction and, subsequently, release them. When you provide another person with the opportunity to release their reaction, you open the door for healing.

Being a conscious observer of your experience and learning to disengage from other people’s reactions allows you to become more proactive instead of reactive, shifting your energy from negative to positive. Most of all, you can see such challenging situations as opportunities to transform your life.

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