Disengaging From Negative People

Many people who we come into contact with everyday have difficulty being accountable for own lives. Rather than taking responsibility for their choices, they often become defensive, blame others, and/or play mind games trying to protect their own ego. People stuck in these toxic patterns can be depleting to our energies and highly destructive. When we interact or are in relationship with them, we think we have to play the same games to defend ourselves, but this only leads to deeper confusion, more conflict, and erodes our true sense of ourselves.

The best way to detach from people who engage in such negative patterns is to disengage from the “hook” of their patterns. To do so, we must first be aware of the source of our own vulnerabilities and take note of which people and situations push our emotional buttons and trigger our reactions. Remember, the stronger our reactions are, the more deeply seated our vulnerability is to that particular person or pattern. When we discover such unresolved emotions, we can release them privately or with a trusted friend. Reacting to any situation by getting upset, will only entrench us more deeply in the undesirable relationship. Only by pausing, opening our heart, and engaging our power can we see the pattern that has hooked us into the toxic situation.  The more we practice healthy disengagement, the less we will react to the others and respond proactively. In light of our new conscious awareness, the situation will resolve or dissolve itself.

Whenever people come into our lives, they often show us something about ourselves that we need to release or transform. When unhealthy people try to hook us into their patterns, we must remind ourselves that we have the ability to pause, the power to disengage, and the knowledge of who we truly are. We can then take the focus off the troubling individual and place it on us, giving us the opportunity to illuminate and shift the situation from the inside out. When we change ourselves in response to any person, then the  relationship will change.